The Truth Is, I Am Always Responsible


The Truth Is I Am Always Responsible.jpg

Homesick and Hotelrooms

Driving past sidewalks and streets and cold nights outside with lots of lights
Or the Sun shining through the windows on your face reading a story

About how it used to be watching raindrops roll down through
your bright smile looking outside and you can't wait to rush out the door

I feel safe in hotelrooms or on the endless highway in the dark
Or on a red/white airplane taking me where I don't need excuses to say that I don't belong

Clean floors that you could fall into
And everything that you could ever wish for packed neatly on shelves
Or those days you just couldn't sit still in many rows and all the people that you know
They're singing songs about a miracle and a tiny baby that saved the world

Somehow the only thing that I can think about is how I'm ever going to make it to the end of my life

Keeping Promises

I fought and lost and now everything's spinning around me and I can't spin along
My mind can't fit you in so how can I go on when I don't understand you?
So I whisper your name and I wait here because I wasn't made to do this alone
How can I live without being sure that one day I'll get where you are?
Have I crossed the line?
Thousands at a time, these questions are climbing around me and I can't take them down
Where is the ground that I was standing on?
You promised it would never leave me
But I whisper your name and I wait here because I wasn't made to do this alone
How can I live without being sure that one day I'll get where you are?
Have I crossed the line?

Let’s Pretend That I’m Being Honest

Well I'm full of worry and there's a lot of faces in my head
I can see yours is fading as I am making friends with regret
My life isn't good enough for me I say as I try to catch my breath

What if I said dear God I love you, I love you
Would that be enough for you to help me out?
Let's pretend that I'm being honest

And I know that I haven't got it written all over my face, but if I said I was sorry would that be enough for you to show me your grace?
You probably don't believe me but I think it could be true

What if I said, dear God I love you, I love you
Would that be enough for you to help me out?
Let's pretend that I'm being honest

I'm sorry this isn't more heartfelt but I think it's as close as I'm going to get

Let's pretend let's pretend

I Will Find You Under Snow

On the coldest winter night
In a heavy storm that blows and tears life
Deep in a forest buried under snow
Deeper still
And still there

Far away from coasts between countries
Miles below crashing waves that break the ocean's surface
Deep under the sand floor
Deeper still
And still there

Past sorrows years have known
And secrets that hold dark memories
And regret that sleeps deep deep
Deeper still
And still there

Leaving The Cinema

Not so far from where the railroad crosses through the woods they can hear the trains pass by at night
And she works all summer in fields nearby walking home just before it gets dark so she can buy a car
And drive all night over red leaves past large trees and then long roads that take her over hills and over highways with many lanes
And yellow signs that glow up ahead in the sky that always changes color
We all know there's nobody there to pick up the phone and say we're so glad you're coming home again because the house burnt down
Warm tears soak my jacket where her face is, her eyes are like lines drawn in the sky
Then white names fill the screen I can see hers too but not mine and we all leave and feel strange

The Saddest Love Story Ever Told

We're running through the snow the stars hang in the sky they glimmer on your hair
The bench is white and the frozen lake glows as the trees sway in the cold and I hold you close
And we're talking and we're holding hands and it's getting late can I walk you home?
We spend the rest of that winter there and when spring comes the ice melts and I kiss you in the lake
And we sleep under summer skies and autumn leaves fall and turn the woods yellow and red
And three years pass by Amy will you marry me?
I'm walking through the snow the stars hang in the sky
You suddenly appear you smile and say remember the party?
I stare at you in disbelief the tears roll down my face and you run away
I met you once at a Christmas party I was so obsessed and I can't wake up


Here I am miles away I can't even see your face
Here I am but what are you when you look at me?
As I am standing at the bottom of this mountain that you're standing on top of

Here I am I'm trying to step before I fall again but I'm not giving up
Here I am, I'm crawling through the dark trying to find my way out
Can you see me bleeding? Can you see me screaming? Can you see me crying?
Can you see me trying to make it up to you?
I'll make it up to you

Just take a breath you say and let me tell you that you don't stand a chance
Break and fall and give it up and say that you're not enough and that you belong in hell
And open your eyes and realize that nothing that you ever did could be an exchange for what you had that it was for free
When are you going to see that you're not enough and you'll never be?

Because I can see you bleeding, I can see you screaming I can see you crying, I can see you trying but just give yourself away to me

Here I am I found my place again I'm on my knees again
Here I am my face in the sand and I'm sorry I'm sorry


My mind has been on other things lately and I'm getting tired of this nothing I've been making lately
So I'll be sitting around half knowing what I've got to do and there's something on the way there that annoys me
Going somewhere else would be giving up so I'm hanging in the nothing
Where there is no time it goes behind your back and when you step out it will always surprise you and there's always a lack of respect
So I follow the way to where I've got to go and I get past the thing that annoys me I try to focus on what I'm doing but I always end up with nothing
And time will always keep flowing and my energy will keep dissipating

So I'm left in bed with closed eyes and I wake up the next day

And the way out of bed is not one I want to follow and I'm happy when it ends at the breakfast table but you're beautiful

The Wages Of An Easy Life

I wake up on the pavement still drunk I must have also been in some kind of fight this time
I wish I was a character in a TV show then the only I'd worry about would be relationships
How could you? Katie said you walked her all the way home through the snow last night
But you never told her how you felt not even a year later when she got so sick and passed away on that cold Christmas day

I work really hard at working too hard, I'll stay up till two like successful people do
After the service we always have coffee and I always the only one standing by myself
Because it's easier to suffer than it is to take responsibility
I will find peace after a few drinks or when I am asleep

So as I'm coughing blood it hits me that I may have always done my best to avoid the things I found hard
I try to sit up and reach my cell phone but my heart stops and I stare up at the snow falling down

Buried under soft white snow when carols fill the air angels we have heard on high

Scott said life is hard, I know easy feels just like being dead